For many of you that know me, you know I was in the marching band in high school. (Yes, that means I have a ton of stories that start "one year at band camp...") But putting that aside, I learned a ton in band (and through music in general) about myself. And these lessons continue to show up even today. Marching band taught me about internal beats, feeling the rhythm, being instep with said rhythm and beat (and everyone else on the field), and learning to move as a unit. We were competitive, so if anyone was out of step or moved when they weren't supposed to, it affected everyone. It was a team effort and we always approached it that way.
I've disappeared the last couple of months because we've been marching to a new beat here in Georgia. It has taken a lot of getting used to and I'm constantly finding that I'm not "in-step" or I've missed the beat all together, or better yet, I'm marching in the opposite direction! Throughout all the craziness of the move and new jobs for both of us, I have had to listen very hard for the new beating that is going to be our lives for a while. There are times I feel like we've hit our stride and we are both in sync again...then we have one heck of a crazy work week and I don't even know what "song" we're playing anymore. But, if I ever learned anything from my musical years, it is practice and persevere because the end results are by far worth the sweat that goes into it; not to mention, hearing the completed song after so much work is awesome!
So, to sum up the last several months, B and I have worked...a lot (he claims its less hours than last year, but I don't know that I entirely believe him); we have worked on the house...a lot (still have a lot more to do, but it's winter and I can't handle any amount of cold...I should be a bear so I can hibernate through all of this); we somehow managed to see all of our immediate family over Christmas (just short of a miracle considering neither one of us had time off); somewhere in the few evenings we actually share at home together on a weekly basis, we have managed to have somewhat consistent dates (brownie points for B as he has planned most of them). When I write it out, it doesn't look like much, but I took on the project of painting the basement...with my work schedule and normal house maintenance "stuff" it took me a little over a month...and I don't paint super slow or anything. But making the basement our own space has made a HUGE difference in this house feeling like HOME! It sounds crazy, I know, but moving into an older house where people have painted and done things the way they wanted, you almost feel like an impostor in the very house you just bought. The fun (and kinda bad) is that we have plenty of house projects to last us for a while, we are just having to pace ourselves.
In the mean time, I am constantly trying to find my "quiet" place to be able to relax and feel that all to familiar internal beat that drives us all. There are many times I have gotten too caught up in what needs to be done and how it is going to get done. I want to be able to savor the moments God offers for reprieve and not be continuously caught up in the busy-ness that surrounds me. I still find great comfort and solace in my music and will never be able to put it aside. There something centering about it for me. I have also discovered that when I am generally feeling out of step, I am generally not trusting God's plan for my life (I know, surprise). Admittedly, I am not a big lover of change, and these last several months have been full of it. Thankfully, I knew it was coming and God clearly had a master plan for all of it to come together the way it did. However, I continue to learn to trust Him daily as my future unfolds; though I have no idea what it may hold, I know it must be good because He love me.
Hopefully, I can keep up with this a little better despite all the random schedules and home projects, etc. No one ever told us it would be easy; and thankfully, neither one of us ever thought any of this would be easy. We walked into our relationship, this marriage, and this move with our eyes wide open knowing that we would be working at spending time together, working on our relationship, working towards our goals, and working on the house to make it our home. We are tremendously blessed and thankful.
